If you don’t ask, you don’t get.

I was told and taught from a young age by my parents that “If you don’t ask, you don’t get”. This very simple statement has stayed with me, as an annoying little niggle in the back of my mind that pops up whenever I’m about to lose out on something I want. It creeps in through my ear, whispers to me ‘you’re being a doormat’, and suddenly I’m being very frank and forward about what I want whilst internally cringing at the fact I’m being so confrontational and honest.

It’s a trait that has since proven to work for me. There have been multiple occasions where my success has come from simply asking for an opportunity, and strangers giving me a chance. I never feel confident in doing it, but I force myself to ask the awkward questions because if I don’t, nobody else will do it for me. You have to make your own luck, and you won’t get anywhere by staying quiet on the side lines.

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Some see this attitude of going for what you want and making things happen as arrogant. They think that you’re big headed, and obnoxious. In reality, this ‘I want it, so I’m going to get it’ comes from my need and want to prove my worth and ability. You don’t get anywhere in life without putting yourself out there, even if it ends in you looking like an absolute idiot.

I am by no means the most outgoing person. If anything, I’m a massive introvert. But I have learnt through experience that if you don’t push for something to happen, it will never happen. If you don’t get up again every time you get knocked back, you’ll end up sitting at square 1, wishing you’d just said something.

The older I get the more I realise that people are genuinely interested in your successes. Whether or not they show that in a kind way, it’s true. If you’re working hard and reaping rewards, people notice, and they want in. They want to know how you’re doing it, what you did to get it and how they too can get a piece of it. But most people are too proud to say “Hey I’m really interested in what you’re doing, would love to know how to do it myself”.  Instead they’ll call you a try hard, or a slave to your work and scoff at anything you do.

Remember that nobody else but you can get you to where you want to be. People can advise you, and give you chances, but ultimately you are the one doing the work and putting in the time to even get that advice or that chance. So don’t listen to anyone else’s opinion, and focus on you.

 

 

 

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Change What You Refuse to Accept.

“We are mothers. We are caregivers. We are artists. We are activists. We are entrepreneurs, doctors, leaders of industry and technology. Our potential is unlimited. We rise.” – Alicia Keys, Women’s March 2017

From a young age I was told ‘boys will be boys’, and that acting and dressing in a certain way was not ‘ladylike’ and would make people treat me with less respect. I then realised that’s bullshit, and that I am free to say, do, think and wear whatever I want. Period.

It’s come to my attention as I have grown older, that being a feminist woman puts me in a box. I apparently hate men, demand equality but do not actually support it, and am ‘rabid’ and ‘nazi like’ when discussing my views on the matter. I was reluctant even now to make this post through fear I would be subject to labels and misconceptions, because of how people view feminists.

The main misconception concerning what feminism is revolves around the idea that being a feminist means you hate men and want more power than them. In reality, feminism is about making sure that women have equal rights. Those rights include rights over their bodies, equal pay, social opportunities, and political representation.

The Women’s Marches that occurred around the world last week embodied, to me, what it is to fight for equality. The mission statement of the organisation who started them reads;

“This march is the first step towards unifying our communities, grounded in new relationships, to create change from the grassroots level up. We will not rest until women have parity and equity at all levels of leadership in society.”

Many men came out in force alongside the women marching, which was humbling to see. Others may not have agreed with the march itself but backed the message behind it. Then of course, there were those who thought the whole thing was a giant middle finger to anyone who doesn’t have a vagina.

One of those people was Piers Morgan , who’s response to the Women’s Marches that took place around the globe a few weeks ago was that he was going to start a “Men’s March”, protesting the “creeping global emasculation of my gender by rabid feminists.” Not that anything Piers Morgan says is worth wasting time or energy on, but his small-minded response struck a chord with me.

The fact of the matter is, no matter what generation you’re from, we are living in a time where possibilities and opportunities to effect change are everywhere. A time of struggle offers the opportunity for a time of unity. To come together and make it through the bad times. I am privileged enough to live in a place where my rights are still intact and I am not being dictated to by a wotsit with a bad toupee. But I know that too many little girls, who might not fully understand what it is going on, are worried about what will happen next.

I hope we can make this a part of history we look back on and say ‘thank god we made things right’, before any more little girls have to fear for her future.

 

 

 

 

Radio Documentary

Social media is the quickest and most effective way to communicate in our world. It is so effective in fact, that it has become children’s main and sometimes only form of communication and interaction. But what impact is this having on their psychological state?

This is a short documentary I spent 2 months creating as part of a university assignment, investigating that very question.